Christmas crackers…..

Mon, Dec 12, 2011

In our latest newsletter we asked 10 festive jokes…here are the jokes again, with their punch lines, and with a bonus 5 extra jokes…..

1. What never eats at Christmas time? The turkey – it’s always stuffed!

2. What’s brown and tasty and sneaks around the kitchen? - Mince spies!

3. What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and an ordinary alphabet? – the Christmas alphabet has Noel!

4. Why did the duck cross the road in winter? – to quack open the ice!

5. What happened to the man who stole a calendar at Christmas? – he got 12 months!

6. What kind of candle burns longer at Christmas? – none of them: they all burn shorter!

7. Why is it always cold at Christmas? – because it’s Decemberrrrrrrr!

8. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? – tinselitus!

9. What’s the best Christmas present ever? – a broken drum: you can’t beat it!

10. What goes “oh, oh, oh!”? – Santa walking backwards!

11. Why does Father Christmas always go down the chimney? – because it soots him!

12. Who looks after Santa Claus when he is ill? – the National Elf Service!

13. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? – because he had low elf esteem!

14. How many presents can Santa get into an empty sack? – one, because then it isn’t empty any more!

15. How can a snowman lose weight? – wait until it gets warmer!

Beset wishes to all our readers….!

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