1: do what you say you will do: deliver your promises. If you can’t be sure to deliver, don’t promise. If you promised, but something unforeseen and uncontrollable stops you, let them know, and apologise, and offer the next best alternative
2: don’t do what you say you won’t do: the reverse of 1: above. A classic example is keeping confidences.
3: never lie: your word is your bond – make it mean something – to everyone, and to yourself. Our definition of integrity: honouring your word…
4: speak your feelings: be honest and open about how you feel. You always have three options with feelings: hide them; demonstrate them; or speak them. The first two can be destructive – the third one is the most adult and constructive. People cannot argue with how you feel – it is your truth
5: don’t ‘fudge’: be direct and clear: say what you mean to say. Don’t go round the houses, or be indirect. This doesn’t mean be brutal or hurtful: there are plenty of ways you can find to speak the truth in a non-hurtful or damaging way
6: avoid double standards: ‘one rule for you and one for the rest’ never works.
7: be fair: be consistent too. The same event should produce the same response (allowing of course for mitigating factors). Otherwise, you will find yourself accused of inconsistency and favouritism
8: build credibility: over time, you build your credibility by doing what you say you will do (and the reverse) – ie building a reputation, a personal brand. Decide how you want to be known by others – then act consistently in that way….
9: withstand the test: at times, it may seem easier to let some of these factors slip – easier sometimes to lie than to feel uncomfortable with the truth. But this can destroy a hard earned trust, and – just as damaging – may sit uncomfortably with you, and your self-esteem
10: speak your truth: everyone has the potential to see things differently, and therefore have a different ‘truth’; be prepared to acknowledge such differences in others, and be prepared to let others know how you see things, and why….